Martha Missed Out

So you know those things that come with your Pampered Chef stoneware? You know; brown square flat plastic scrapers. You use them to scrape the burnt on gunk in the corners of your pans, although why would you have burnt on gunk if you were cool enough to be using Pampered Chef stuff? I don't have the answer to that question. I just know that those little scrapers are the best things ever made. If not the very best things, then they are right up there, how about we say that they are in the top 20 best things ever made list, if I were making the list. Now that you know what I am talking about, and how great I think it is, let me tell you why.

This small flat brown scraper helped me clean a floor the other day that would have been Martha Stewart's nightmare. It would have been, had she been there with me. Which she was not. It was not that she declined, it was more like, I neglected to invite her. I think she may have declined had I invited her though. That woman is too busy Tweeting to do anything like clean a kitchen floor, let alone the floor I cleaned. So this floor had possibly over a years worth of use on it. Literally, everything that had been used for the last year was adhered to the floor, or ground into it, or crammed into the corners and edges. You can tell a lot about a family by what is on their floors, and this family had kids. The evidence was all there: hardened jelly, cheerios particles, crayon shavings, gum so flat you couldn't be sure where it ended and the floor started. I would call gum like that, "dirt flavored gum". Whether it started out as watermelon or peppermint is irrelevant to the hard flat fact that it was now dirt flavored. I know that Harry Potter has already run with the idea of bug and dirt and vomit flavored jelly beans. Maybe dirt flavored gun isn't so strange after all.

Speaking of gum, there is really no way to get the aged stuff off the floor in a quick and efficient manner. I mean, I need to be quick and efficient if I am going to charge people to clean their homes. They are not only entrusting me with their home, but with their money, in hopes that they are spending it wisely. So efficiency is very important to me. So are my fingernails. Yes, I clean homes and still have some fingernails. They are not very long anymore, but I can still put a shiny clear coat of polish on them and they look nice. Often I am torn by my desire to be quick and efficiency, and my need to maintain some fingers nails to polish. It is not like I polish them and go out on the town very often, but I have my moments, and I need to be prepared for those moments with something to polish.

I am sure you can see then, why I am beaming with joy over one of the top 20 best things ever made, the Pampered Chef scraper. I had one in my basket of tools. Yes, a basket. It has a handle and you put stuff in it. It is not a bucket because it has a divider down the middle, it is my basket. Anyway, I pulled out my scraper and with a quick flip of the wrist, that dirt flavored gum popped off the floor like it had been dying to do for the last year! My fingernails rejoiced because I had not put them through the usual riggers of picking uselessly at jelly and gum and other family treasures saved up on the kitchen floor. My little brown square got a pat on the back and quite a work out that day, and I trust that a family came home and marveled at their beautiful floor for about 3 minutes before all hell broke loose and the the cheerios and jelly started flying again.